by Wieland V.
[Editor’s note: this is the third and final installment of Wieland’s reports of his time in America to his home church in Koln-Pesch.]
The Problem with Time
Time is relative. Einstein knew that. But, just a few really understand these abstract physics theories. And America isn’t that far away that I’ll come home more or less aged than you on the other side of the Atlantic, like the Einstein twins would do.
It must have something to do with time perception. You probably know the endless second in which the chocolate cake slides off the plate, and, helplessly, you watch five pounds of creamy sugary mass following the laws of gravity, finally meeting its destiny. On the other side, time seems to run away, and the more we try to stop it, the faster it gets.
Whereas my first few months in the United States appeared to be relatively long, time has vanished since February; so fast I didn’t realize it. During this time, Chapel Hill has become something like my second home. Coming back from a weekend trip, the Chapel Hill exit meant the same thing to me as the Cologne-North exit had been before: I was coming home.
The reason for that is especially my host parents Ladnor and Shirley G., who became my family during the last eleven months. I was lucky to meet people whose warmth made me feel at home the whole year, but who never mothered me. I had all the freedom I needed and wanted.
They assured me that I don’t have to feel like a parasite who took advantage of an older couple, but that having a young, smart person (thanks for the compliment) at their house was also an enrichment for them. A perfect symbiosis, if you want to stay in the scientific vocabulary.
Now it is time to look back on one year of Voluntary Peace Service in the United States and everything connected to it.
Working for Peace
Although working People of Faith Against the Death Penalty wasn’t always as fun as I wanted it to be, it meant a lot to me when my boss, Steve D., assured me that categorizing newspaper articles, creating spreadsheets or addressing envelopes was helpful to PFADP. And, although I know that I wouldn’t like to do this kind of job for the rest of my life, I have to say that I learned a lot.
Before, I had never really made up my mind about the death penalty. Now I could easily fill school lessons with presentations and know probably more facts about capital punishment than most citizens of North Carolina.
It was interesting to see what lobbying work looks like and to see the results “live”. Watching laws being passed in the NC House of Representatives in Raleigh was definitely one of the highlights of my job.
The other great thing was the big demonstration in March, where thousands of people marched through Raleigh and signed a charter with 14 statements, among them abolishing the death penalty, health care for all and pulling out the troops of Iraq immediately.
It is also positive that I didn’t have to go to any vigil for an executed prisoner. Because of a terribly gone wrong execution in Florida at the beginning of January, all executions in North Carolina and several other states were cancelled - a de-facto moratorium; what PFADP had fought for in the last years.
Furthermore I became a pen-pal to a prisoner on death row and hope to visit him before leaving the country.
To make it short, I am glad that I could do my part to fight against this unfair system of punishment.
After having been involved in the planning of the “Peace by Peace Conference” during my first weeks at the Dispute Settlement Center, the staff continued to entrust me more and more with responsibilities. At the beginning, I only accompanied my co-worker Will D. to the after school programs, but one week before Christmas he got a cold and, for the first time, I had to deal with the kids alone. Since then, I and the new staff member Kerry have increasingly taken over the DSC’s youth program. Having been a youth group leader in my home church in Cologne and coached kids in the local table tennis club, it was easy for me to address the young people from kindergarten to high school age.
Although I learned how hard being a teacher must be when you look into twenty bored faces, I enjoy standing in front of people and talking to them and it made me less nervous. During the last weeks, I was running the summer camp program in local elementary schools. Without being arrogant I can say that, in this case, I was sometimes able to show Kerry how to work with the kids. All these things I learned just during the last months, which shows me how much I have to thank the DSC.
The art contest that Will and I organized at local high schools was a total success. More than 40 pieces of artwork were submitted and will soon be exhibited at the Carrboro Town Hall.
Another reason that I liked to work at the Dispute Settlement Center was the friendly atmosphere among the staff members.
Furthermore, I’m thankful that I was allowed to assist at various DSC workshops and was able to learn a lot about conflict resolution, disputes or just good listening. You may smile, but also listening has to be learned. And I had to learn a lot.
Other places where I worked with young people were the church youth groups on Sunday afternoons and Church School in the morning. Thanks to the awesome youth minister Frank Boyd, I was able to attend all day, weekend, or mission trips for free, something I can’t thank for enough. My personal highlight was the mission trip to Nashville, TN in June. Our mission was not - as you may think - to convert people to the right (our) faith but to help out in non-profits or to get informed about their work.
For example, we worked at a Habitat for Humanity store, packed medical packages for Africa, visited youth and homeless shelters and a center for HIV-positive people. At one church organization that fights the death penalty in Tennessee, the woman expected our youth to have a profound knowledge of the bible, but she was wrong. Most didn’t even know that “A tooth for a tooth, an eye for an eye” is from the bible, to say nothing about which testament it’s from. On the one side I was surprised, on the other side I was glad that the youths were none of these brainwashed bible-thumping fundamentalists. Not that I had expected that, but it’s always good to be sure.
Twice a week I worked in the homeless shelter, the IFC Community House. The physical work I did there was a good relief from my other office jobs. No matter whether I unloaded boxes of donated food from the truck, washed the dishes or gave out food to the homeless, I always went home knowing that I had done something that helped other people.
Another thing I liked was that I was entrusted with more and more responsibilities. Whereas at the beginning I was handing out cups and napkins to the guests, in the end my boss Paul often told me to coordinate the whole kitchen. Furthermore I regularly drove to grocery stores or student dorms to pick up food donations.
In the soup kitchen I got to know people who were not as lucky as the average American. The fact that most of the guests knew some German (”Guten Tag”, “Auf Wiedersehen”), surprised me. First it seemed to be pretty funny to me, but then I realized how sad it is that many soldiers end up homeless. I met veterans from the Vietnam, Gulf, Afghanistan and the Iraq war who had been based in Germany once.
For me as a German it seems very strange how proud many Americans are of their military and what kind of a big role it plays in daily life. There are TV-ads to join the US Army or the Marines and many people have “Support our Troops” bumper stickers on their cars. Sad to see how little society takes care of the physically and psychologically wounded soldiers.
The highlight of my year at the IFC was definitely the “Poverty Awareness Week”, which the IFC organized together with several student activist groups, and which took place in March. Throughout February and March I was busy organizing the events, designing the information flyer and handing it out to people.
The week ended with about 100 students sleeping in card board boxes in the UNC pit. This is also where I got to know a group of students who became my friends very soon.
A good friend
Just to say it right at the beginning: I can’t remember a single moment in which I felt really lonely. Right after I had been introduced to the congregation on my first Sunday at church, Wanda and Tye H. introduced me to their son Sam. By the way: they will be hosting my brother Henning this fall. Sam, who had just come back from college in Massachusetts, became my best friend in the US. I think I can speak for both of us when I say that getting to know each other was real luck for us.
My circle of friends was completed when I got to know the group of students I already mentioned. Now I also knew people who were exactly my age. I will always remember the hiking weekend in the mountains around Asheville, sitting around the fire, playing guitar and singing.
It would take too much space to talk about all the good friends I’ve met throughout the year, but for me the important thing is that I’m leaving a lot of great people back in Chapel Hill that really helped me enjoy my year in the United States.
Being an ambassador for America
As I already mentioned in my last letter, Chapel Hill showed me America’s liberal face, the other extreme to the country’s current policy. I don’t know how many people begged me to tell the German people how embarrassed they feel about George W. Bush, his administration, the war on Iraq and more. Mission accomplished.
More than once I tried to explain my difficult situation of being in a country which I find absolutely fantastic, but whose (foreign) policy I almost despise.
I’m coming home with the good news that - although our media often tries to draw another picture - there are a lot of socially, environmentally concerned, educated people on the other side of the Atlantic, not only gun freaks, Hummer drivers and racists.
Not that I entered the airplane with this kind of idea one year ago, not at all, but now I’m confident to say that I have a much better idea of what the United States are like, I can argue with prejudiced people and talk from own experience.
That’s why one goal of the Voluntary Peace Service - to broaden our cultural horizon - is already met.
If you want to find out where you are from, leave home
But more than that, I also learned a lot about myself, Cologne, Germany and Europe - more than I could ever have imagined before.
The main reason is that most people don’t see you as an individual, but put you in one of these groups (German, European etc), and I can’t deny that we’re all shaped by our cultural origin. But suddenly I caught myself defending or identifying with things I didn’t care about at all before. No matter whether we talk about Capri pants, hair gel, health care or (ir)religiosity.
The best example is probably that I suddenly defended smokers, because I didn’t like the openly articulated scorn many Americans have for them. Back in Germany I had often been furious with smokers’ ignorance towards people serious health concerns.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Now I want to say thanks to all of you. Without your support this all wouldn’t have been possible. Living in the United States for one year was absolutely enriching for me and based on other peoples’ statements I was an enrichment for the United States. I hope that you were able to participate in this through my letters.
Although I could have started school, since I didn’t pass the health check required by the military, I don’t think that I lost a year. From my point of view, I’ve only won. During the last eleven months I helped people in need, got to know another country and culture, found new friends, improved my English skills and by the way I found out more about who I am and what I want.
You can’t ask for more.